I’ve aded some galleries to actually show my work. I really want to add more images to each of the galleries but this is just a beginning. I guess the first step would be to find the pictures of my work and then proceed from there. This is going to be a very long road to find the images in my photos because I have absolutely no idea where they are in the massive glut of photos on my computer.
More to come!
It’s about half way through the year. I’ve been looking at my goals for the year more and more lately and coming to see that I really need to put in more effort to accomplish them. Not that I’ve put in no effort, just not enough. To say that I’m nowhere is a bit extreme, but <25% through the list at 50% through the year is not the best place to be. I guess I’m doing my best with this whole process but part of me feels like I could carve out a little more time during the weekends to get some more accomplished. I’m spending a lot of time focusing on others, which is good, and not enough time on myself. As a refreshed here’s the goals list:
2026 GOALS
And I’ll provide the updates line by line:
2026 GOALS UPDATES
So based on that report I have no idea where I actually stand percentagewise, but some number certainly.
Time to redouble my efforts and continue trying.
It’s been a very long time but I finally finished the little five by eight blackbook I’ve been working on for a sketchbook. It ended up being about a 2 year engagement with the thing. I don’t know why it took me so long to fill the damn thing up, but it took the time it took and it is what it is. I wasn’t at my most productive and I haven’t been for some time. Maybe I’ll step it up with a fresh start in a new book. I’ve already selected the new book (spoilers, it’s red) and I’ve put a few stickers on it to get going. It’s the same five by eight format but fewer pages, a little bit of a smaller book. In theory I’ll be able to burn through it in less time even if I keep the same pace. However, I would love to increase the frequency, length, and duration of entries in the new book.
I’ve also been at it creating a new / modifying a few old systems to keep myself organized and on track. There’s a few new-to-me ideas and some others I’ve upcycled into this system. I’m mostly keeping with the “todo” list format. To add to the todo list I’ve combined an idea I picked up from a recent System Sunday newsletter. This idea is the “floor” / “ceiling” concept of a successful day. Add to that the notion of different lists for different timeframes such as the Ugmonk Analog system of cards for “today” / “next” / “someday” and I’ve gotten a pretty good system down. It’s workable for me and manageable for the few weeks I’ve been using it. The best part of it for me is using materials I already have, such as gridded and basic lined index cards. I have avoided special materials except for highlighters for some flair. Gotta keep myself entertained with bright colors.
To elaborate somewhat on the “floor / ceiling” concept. The “floor” is the basic worst-day-scenario minimum I can do in a day and still feel like it’s a successful day kind of list. Absolute minimum. The “ceiling” is the maximum I can do in a day and remain sane. That means for a workday I set a bar of three tasks and for a weekend or off-work day I increase that to five manageable tasks. I use the same three to five tasks for each kind of day. Everything over and above those tasks is the ceiling, an icing-on-the-cake kind of bonus task completed. If the entire ceiling part of the list doesn’t get completed, so be it, as long as the floor is done I get the sense of satisfaction from a job well done. Anything else I get to do is a bonus. If I get everything done, great; if not, whatever.
I’m still using the three classifications of cards from Analog: “Today”, “Next”, “Someday”. Absolutely a borrowed idea. However, each “today” ot “day” card is broken up into floor and ceiling components. The other cards are, for now, one list only with no importance assigned.
The best part of all of this for me is being able to use plain old store-bought materials. Gridded basic or lined index cards, pens / pencil, and highlighters. I use the gridded cards for lists and the lined ones for getting a longer idea out. Please bear in mind I’m still working it out in my head and on paper, getting the kinks out. I will probably be doing that forever, or as long as I use this system I’ve conjured up and cobbled together.
I had intended to write about my sketchbook, on lessons learned, on accomplishments, etc. But I have gotten way off track. I’ll pick that thread up in my next post.
In the meantime here’s examples of my cards:
And as an extra added bonus: here’s the new sketchbook!!
A month has gone by since I’ve been here for a post. What do I have to show for it? Nothing. Yeah, I’ve done some drawing and some watercolor but really nothing to be post-worthy. This is an obligatory update to nobody. I’m hopeful that since summer has arrived I’ll be able to get out and do some plein air paintings and drawings. Today was a little rainy earlier so I’m using that as an excuse to do nothing. Maybe I’ll have more to write about later.
I don’t remember exactly when or why it was brought to my attention but it was. I do know I was still in school at MICA and I also remember who brought it up to me. Eva Wyle, a professor at MCIA, is the individual who first told me about making a list of artistic concepts that are interesting or important to me and a second list of things that are neither important or interesting. I was told to make these lists side-by-side and as long as I needed to.
So, I made the lists after a little while. No idea how long it took me. I don’t have the originals anymore. However there is a digital version, a PDF, and a hardcopy print-out that still exist. I’m pretty sure they date all the way back to the original list or pretty close to it.
There have been plenty of iterations of this list, and many edits over the years. Some ideas have remained consistent across the board and many things that have switched sides, have been added, or have been deleted. Some concepts have just completely lost all meaning and have vaporized. There have been iterations where I copied from previous lists directly, and others that were done from scratch. Almost every possible method has been tried, as far as I can tell. If i’ve missed anything please let me know.
The current edition of this list appears below in its current, as of the time of this writing, complete state.
There were a few times I went and wrote little essays or explanations of everything I had put on the list and why. This is not one of those times. The list is the list and that’s all there is today.
This is for me, personally. There is a need for balance in life. There are many different aspects to be balanced, and while certain ones are balanced others are simultaneously thrown into imbalance. There is no way I have found for everything in my life to be in accord with everything else. There is a certain degree of acceptance of the imperfect that has to exist for me to find any semblance of peace. I have found that in order to balance my art making practice (for example) with everything else I have to do my sleep schedule suffers because there are only so many hours available in a day. This elevates both depression and anxiety. While these elements are elevated I find that I am much more artistically creative. More or less. However, there is also a balance between depression and anxiety where if there is too much of either then I am completely unable to be productive artistically or otherwise. And the opposite is true too; if I am not at all engaged in making art then depression and anxiety are elevated.
Lately (like in the past six months or so) I have had a major shift into consumption of media and away from making or being creative. I have been reading way too much, more than I really need to. Three books simultaneously right now and I’ll probably be adding a fourth soon. I’ve spread myself far too intellectually thin here. And even thinner in the productivity arena. While at work I try to spend some of my lunch break doing something to keep myself sane. Or I spend that time talking with coworkers which helps me maintain a few different elements in relative balance. But for the most part I end up wasting time doomscrolling. At home in the evenings and on off days I do that too, or watch a bunch of tv that I don’t have any real interest in or enjoy.
So far this year, as I have laid out in my 2026 Goals, I’ve been a little better about making time for myself. Time to do things I find enjoyable. I have managed to go to the library a few times, done some sketchbook drawings, and I’ve even made it to the gym. All of those elements together balance pretty nicely. It all helps to reduce the depression and anxiety. In general it has also helped alleviate some insomnia. The plan or goal is to keep up the streak for a year or ninety days or or a month a day at a time, a step at a time. And also to try to make a decent habit of doing these things for myself so it gets easier to do.
However, again, there are only so many hours in a day or week to do everything. Some things end up suffering. As far as I’m concerned there hasn’t been anything too severely cut out of my life by this regimen. Yet. But I’ll see as time goes on. I haven’t been sleeping in as late as I like to on my weekend days, which is a small but good victory. I’d rather get up and do something even if it’s small. After a few small things adding up there goes the whole day for me. It would be completely different if I didn’t have to go to work ever week. Or maybe that’s what I need to do as much as I have been able to on my off time. I don’t know but will never because I’m not independently wealthy. Would be nice though. Maybe. Maybe not.
— at this point I’ve taken a fairly lengthy break in writing and have lost my momentum and continuity. I am typing to try to get it back but it hasn’t worked yet. I might drop off here or resume later. I’ll see —
— I never made it back
here’s a drawing:
This weeks blog prompt is “What have you been working on?” and it’s really the only one I’ve found relevant to my life. So it’s the first one i’m going to use for an entry.
For the past few weeks or so I’ve been working on more bonsai watercolors. There you have it, the shortest answer possible. Probably. These have been larger in scale that most of my previous watercolors. I’ve graduated to an 11″x15″ pad. Overall I’m enjoying the freedom of a lager surface to work on, it feels good to have a little more room to breathe around the drawing. Actually it’s quite a bit more than my usual 8″x5″ books. I’ve gotten very used to the smaller size for convenience and travel purposes.
Don’t get my wrong, it’s a perfectly decent size for travel. But how often do I go how far? The answer is not very often and not very far. I really miss plein air painting and drawing. the Mount Gretna experience was amazing, enlightening, and just overall wonderful. I really wish I could go again. However, my life would prevent that from happening for a number of reasons. Between the realities of work, finances, family life, etc. it’s just very unlikely. So it goes.
I remember a time in high school, at the PAFA after-school program for high schoolers to get a little experience with oil painting for free, i was talking to some people in the lounge area and for the first time i saw an 18″x24″ pad of paper. I knew they existed, i ahd seen them in the art supply store before. But i had never seen anyone actually use one. It was just one of those eye-openers I had as a teenager. I was amazed. I had never used such a large paper before, i bought one shortly after seeing someone with it.
It was one of the Strathmere recycled drawing paper pads. The large surface was so freeing and so unbelievably intimidating. What if I made a mistake? What if it was total crap and I had to get rid of so much paper? What a waste. Apparently, size does matter.
I don’t remember if I used all of that paper up or not. Probably not in that case. For all I know I could still have a few sheets from that pad floating around the pile somewhere. Anyway, as i progressed through my art education there were still more size-based moments to experience. 22″x30″ seemed huge and then there were the massive 30″x40″ sheets I started to use at CCP. A whole world opened up. And none of this is even going to touch on the different kinds and qualities of paper. Rives BFK printmaking paper is just amazing for so many things.
The thread that ran through all of these discoveries is that with each increase in the surface area I experienced a new level of page fright. I would stare at the vastness of the paper in front of me and be filled with self-doubt, fear, terror, wonder, amazement, bewilderment, and about a million other feelings that all added up to anxiety. I still do that staring at a blank page and freezing thing. Wether it’s in my little A5 sketchbook, a giant sheet, or a page in my journal I get the same feeling of page fright. Even typing on the computer like this gives it to me. Like, it’s an infinite space that’s endlessly editable and correctable. Why care one iota what happens here, it can always be changed. Not like paper can’t be erased or a canvas can’t be painted over. However, still, it’s there.
The other funny thing is that it doesn’t really matter how big the page is, it’s always the same fear. Same kind, same intensity. I would like to think that it wouldn’t be that way or that I could get past it with regular, consistent work on the page. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. It’s a weird thing that I just can’t explain satisfactorily.
Rather than completely confirm that theory or work towards an explanation I’ve been avoiding creating and making by reading and doomscrolling. I’ve gotten a few books in during the past couple of months and a lot less art than I was aiming for. Lots of reading. Even more doomscrolling the internet and social media. I have a Screentime limit setup but I always bypass it. There’s even a Bloom card in my wallet too, but I just take it out and defeat the whole purpose of the thing and so it hasn’t been used much lately. Great idea if I could only keep the card somewhere less accessible. It’s like keeping my phone away from me at night, across the room charging so I have to physically get up and out of bed to turn the alarm off. The thought only works with consistent action.
I’ve even done the doomscroll several times while writing this entry. There was also a break to go shopping and make dinner but that cant be helped. As far as I can see, there is nothing that will actually keep me off my damn phone and doing what I intended to do. Nothing.
I was supposed to write a short little thing on what I’ve been working on lately, but have ended up way off course and somewhere else entirely. Your reward for reading the last nine hundred words or so is going to be a couple of pictures of my recent 11″x15″ watercolors. Maybe not much of a reward. But it’s something. Of course you could have skipped through all of it and gone right to the pictures anyway. Possibly, but hopefully not. And here we are, almost a thousand words later and still without a solution or a conclusion. Just a bunch of conjecture and nonsense. Thanks for reading all of this utter bullshit. You are awesome.
